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LGBTQIA Therapy | Boulder, CO

Takeaway: Seeking therapy takes vulnerability and courage as it is - You shouldn’t have to worry whether or not your identity will be affirmed through the process. Our team of LGBTQIA therapists is here to support you in connecting with your authentic self. Get in touch today to start the process.

Your identity deserves to be honored, and finding a safe space to be exactly who you are can be really tough.

We are passionate about providing mental health services that are affirming of your unique essence, and we are dedicated to honoring your self-expression and unique challenges. We provide queer-informed treatment and focus on queer resiliency by offering a safe space for you to process mental health issues, such as anxiety disorders, body dysphoria, depression, trauma, addiction recovery, relationship issues, and sexual abuse.

When you work with an LGBTQ-affirming therapist, you gain a supportive environment that fosters resiliency, vitality, and authenticity to help you thrive and align with being your best self. Learn more about what this might look like below.

Does this sound like you?

Oftentimes, we don't grow up in environments that allow us to thrive and to be accepted, and this can result in us hiding who we really are. This could mean hiding our sexual orientation, gender identity, interests, or sexual expression. We might change our mannerisms and speech, or disengage with activities or interests we find meaningful. When our sexuality, gender, or identities aren't positively reaffirmed, we start to feel inauthentic, and it can become painful.

Living inauthentically might cause us to hide our true thoughts to avoid stigma, violence, or being rejected by our friends and families. Sometimes we bury things deep, and it even becomes hard to understand who we are, or even who we want to be. This can result in trouble navigating relationships, putting down boundaries, depression, and even, post-traumatic stress disorder.

Additionally, as we change and grow, sometimes our identities shift, which causes us to question whether or not we want to stay the same or transform into a more aligned version of ourselves. One of the best feelings in the world is living in our full soul essence, and being loved for it.

When you work with a therapist that holds this unfolding process with you with deep reverence, care, and understanding, big healing can take place.

Our LGTBQ therapists are here to help you embody your authentic self.


LGBTQ therapy is rooted in creating a comfortable environment for gay, bisexual, queer, non-binary, and transgender people to process their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with a therapist that gets it. An LGBTQ therapist understands the stigma that queer people often have to shoulder on a daily basis and provides trauma-informed care if needed. Our goal is to help you feel empowered in your true self, including helping you make any changes needed to be your best self.

Meet Xandra Hawes | LGTBQIA Therapist in Boulder, CO

As a member of the LGBTQIA community, I understand the unique challenges that queer people face when seeking help and therapeutic support. My work focuses on helping you uncover your unique soul essence, which includes finding deep love and acceptance for your authentic identity and gaining community and resources to support your vital health.

I've worked with many humans on the queer spectrum, and the LGBTQ therapy we provide is personalized to you. During the first meeting, we make a heart map about where are you and where you would love to be, so we can create a plan for how to get you there. We believe in supporting your mind, body, and spirit, and we provide holistic therapy that supports your mental, emotional, and physical health so you feel safe and respected. Reach out today to see if we are a good fit to support your healing process.

Our approach to LGBTQ counseling

We take a client focus approach to therapy and combine different treatment modalities and techniques in order to personalize your healing journey. Here are some of the ways we can work together below:

Meditation & Mindfulness Awareness Practices

Understanding the relationship between your thoughts and beliefs and how they contribute to unnecessary emotional suffering is a crucial initial step toward finding healing. By practicing meditation and cultivating a slower pace of mind, you gradually gain insight into the fundamental thoughts that were ingrained in you during childhood or as a result of traumatic experiences. These thoughts often undermine your sense of self-worth and hinder personal growth. As you become aware of this dynamic, you become more adept at recognizing and intercepting these thoughts before they take hold and escalate into overwhelming emotions. By pausing your thinking, you can then interrupt negative self-talk, transform it, and consciously choose positive affirmations to rewire your brain and forge new neural pathways. This process fosters an increased sense of gratitude, ease, positivity, self-compassion, and inner liberation.

Somatic Therapy & Energy Healing

Conventional therapy typically emphasizes the processing of thoughts and emotions through a cognitive lens. However, it can be challenging because trauma, depression, and anxiety are not solely confined to the realm of the mind; they also manifest in the body. By incorporating somatic and energy healing approaches into mental health care, you gain the ability to identify and address the underlying programming stored within your nervous system, which has been influenced by your family dynamics and past encounters. This integrative approach facilitates the recognition and healing of deep-seated patterns, allowing for a comprehensive and holistic transformation.

Attachment Therapy

Individuals who possess heightened sensitivity often encounter challenges in establishing secure relationships due to the complexities of managing energetic boundaries and effective communication when they absorb and perceive the emotions and energy of those around them. Life itself can feel extraordinarily intensified as if it operates on an amplified scale. Resolving relationship issues entails delving into the realm of attachment wounds that originated during childhood. This understanding encompasses the way you select friends and partners, express yourself, communicate, exhibit love towards others, and allow yourself to receive care from others. By addressing and healing these attachment wounds, you pave the way for fostering healthier and more fulfilling connections with others.

Buddhist Psychology & Contemplative Psychotherapy

The core belief of Contemplative psychotherapy is that each person has a profound inner wisdom that resides within them, but it can be obscured by the presence of anxiety, doubt, mistrust, depression, trauma, and confusion. With compassion and a genuine understanding of your experiences, I offer a frequency of tenderness and insight, aimed at assisting you in releasing emotional blockages and shedding layers of conditioned programming. Through this process, you can cultivate a deep appreciation for yourself and develop genuine self-love. By embracing this transformative journey, you can rediscover and reconnect with your authentic self, uncovering the profound wisdom that has always resided within you.

FAQs about LGTBQ+ therapy

Let's look at some common questions that LGBTQ+ people have when seeking queer therapy services:

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What can I expect from online therapy or in-person sessions with a licensed therapist?


The first meeting with a therapist at Soul Essence Psychotherapy involves creating a "heart map", or an interactive map where we outline your mental health goals and explore where you are now and where you would love to be. This process will help you identify your aspirations, challenges, and unique skills. Through talk therapy and Buddhist psychology, we get clear on how you can take a clear first step on your healing path and how the therapist can support this unfolding. In the following sessions, we begin to break down what behaviors, thoughts, or emotional stories might be causing challenges to you being your authentic self and how to maintain your true frequency. This process is the same regardless of whether you attend in-person or online therapy.


I'm struggling to reach out because I'm afraid of being rejected or having to educate the therapist. How do I know you will get it?


To be honest, we don't know until you give us the opportunity to learn more about you and what you are hoping to heal. There is NO OBLIGATION to work with a therapist unless it is a good fit for you. We offer free 30-minute consultation calls so you have the opportunity to talk with one of our mental health professionals so you can feel whether it's right for you.

Overall, it's super vulnerable to let someone support you, especially if you've been let down by other therapists trying to provide a supportive space. We value honesty and want to make sure we can support you the way you deserve. Reach out to schedule your free consultation call now.

***If you are experiencing suicidal ideation or struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call the Trevor Project hotline. It is available 24/7 to support LGBTQ young people.***

Do you write medical letters for gender-affirmative therapy services?


Yes, our mental health professionals can write medical letters if a physician or doctor requires information for gender-affirming surgery. This can include, but is not limited to providing information on your medical history, diagnoses, treatment, and any ongoing gender dysphoria. In order to receive a letter, clients must be enrolled in therapy with a therapist for 8+ therapy meetings. This allows the therapist to understand the your unique needs and properly assess chronic issues, psychosocial readiness, emotional stability, etc.

What is queer affirmative practice?


An LGBTQ/queer affirmative therapy practice operates from the perspective that diverse sexual orientations and gender identities are normal and valid. Therapists who practice this approach actively work to understand and appreciate your individual journey and experiences within the context of your sexual orientation or gender identity. They strive to foster a supportive and non-judgmental therapeutic environment where you can freely express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns.

Overall, our therapists work with each client individually to create a therapy experience tailored to their unique needs.


What is the importance of LGBTQ affirmative therapy?


The goal of LGBTQ/queer affirmative therapy is to help individuals enhance their overall well-being, develop a positive self-image, build healthy relationships, and navigate the various aspects of their lives while embracing their authentic selves.

Some of the key benefits include:

  • Validation and Acceptance: LGBTQ therapy provides a safe and supportive space where you can express yourself authentically without fear of judgment or rejection.

  • Increased Self-Awareness: Engaging in LGBTQ affirmative therapy can foster a deeper understanding of your own identity, experiences, and emotions. It allows you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a non-judgmental environment, promoting personal growth and self-discovery.

  • Improved Mental Health: LGBTQ+ individuals often face unique stressors, such as societal prejudice, discrimination, and internalized homophobia or transphobia. It equips you with coping strategies, resilience-building techniques, and effective tools to enhance your mental well-being.

  • Relationship Support: Therapy can assist you in navigating and improving your relationships with family, friends, partners, and the larger LGBTQ+ community. It can address concerns related to coming out, communication, intimacy, and relationship dynamics, fostering healthier and more fulfilling connections.

  • Empowerment and Advocacy: LGBTQ affirmative therapy promotes self-empowerment by assisting you in understanding your rights, accessing resources, and developing skills to advocate for yourself within various contexts, including healthcare, education, and legal systems.

  • Community Connection: Engaging in LGBTQ affirmative therapy can facilitate connections with LGBTQ+ support networks and community resources. This sense of community can provide additional support, validation, and a sense of belonging.


What mental health issues are LGBTQ individuals affected by?


LGTBQ-identified individuals might be at a higher risk of certain mental health issues due in part to minority stress resulting from marginalized identities. Often, the queer community suffers from a range of issues, including but not limited to coming out, self-acceptance, family and relationship dynamics, identity exploration, gender dysphoria, discrimination, trauma, and mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. To learn more about the importance of gender-affirming care and what specific issues LGBTQ individuals are affected by, click here. You can also view mental health facts by population on this website.

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LGBTQ therapy can be the safe haven you’ve been seeking.

We are absolutely here to support your mind, body, and soul on this journey. You deserve healing and to live a life filled with purpose, joy, confidence, and self-trust.

Get started today with a free 30-minute consultation call.

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