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Writer's pictureAlexandra Hawes

Why Adults Need Play

Updated: 6 days ago


Using Play To Find Answers - Blog by Xandra Hawes, Soul Essence Wellness Center

This article is based on our podcast episode, Make Magic: Using Play to Find the Answers. Listen to the full episode here.


Takeaway: Play isn't just for children - it's a powerful tool for adults to unlock creativity, find answers, and achieve goals more effectively than constant hard work. In this guide, I'll show you:

- Why traditional adult "play" isn't enough

- How to reconnect with authentic joy

- Practical exercises to bring play back into your life

- How play can help solve your biggest challenges


The Lost Art of Adult Play


When you think of the word "play," what memories arise in your system? Does it feel foreign? Can you remember the last time you truly played?


Often, as adults, we associate play with children and dismiss it as irresponsible or unserious. But here's a counter-perspective: What if investing more time in play could bring you closer to your goals than working harder?


The Technology Trap: Why Digital Connection Isn't Enough


Modern adult "play" typically revolves around four things:

- Video games

- Social Media

- Television

- Substances


While these offer temporary escape, they don't provide the deep benefits of authentic play - the kind that happens when we tap into imagination and creativity, and get out of our normal, daily grind.


The Digital Paradox


Despite having more ways to connect than ever before, many of us feel increasingly disconnected. Here's why:

- Our lives are filled with constant digital stimulus

- Gaps and pauses have been replaced by screen time

- We rarely take moments to simply be present

- The endless scroll leaves us depleted and exhausted


Although technology allows us to virtually connect, there's a lingering feeling of disconnect in the background of our existence. The more we reach outward to fill this craving, the less grounded we become in our present experience.


The key insight: Being in the present moment creates spaciousness - and while this might feel strange or even scary, this spaciousness is exactly what allows creativity and play to emerge.


Reconnecting with Joy: The First Step


What are you doing in your life that truly invites joy?


Many of my clients come to me trying to work through emotional difficulties and make big life decisions. They feel immense pressure to:

- Work harder

- Perfect their lives

- Control outcomes

- Push through struggles


This often leads to harsh self-judgment and more pain. But here's the paradox: When we believe we must work really hard to change something in our lives, we manifest exactly that - everything becomes harder than it needs to be.


The breakthrough moment comes when you realize that connecting with joy can help you achieve your goals faster than forcing your way through them. The frequency of joy brings:

- Ease

- Appreciation

- Grace

- Fresh perspectives



The Joy List Exercise


If you're struggling with a decision and finding yourself stressed trying to figure it out, try this powerful exercise:


1. Create mental space

- Imagine taking your problem and placing it in a mason jar

- Visualize putting that jar on a shelf in your mind

- Give yourself permission to set it aside temporarily


2. Generate your joy list

- Get a notebook and pen

- Set a timer for 10 minutes

- Write down everything that brings you joy


What to Include

Think about experiences that light you up:

- Sensory pleasures (like the sound of water)

- Special places (driving to a favorite spot)

- Natural settings (walking through the forest)

- Simple pleasures (shapes, colors, patterns)

- People and animals that inspire you

- Games you love to play


Important note: The process might feel inauthentic at first - keep going. As adults, we often get stuck in fear of making mistakes and pressure to "get it right." This exercise helps break through those barriers. If you're struggling to find what you like, try this:


Alternative Approach: The Reverse List

Start with things that don't light you up:

- Tasks you dislike (cleaning specific things)

- Irritating situations (that squeaky car noise)

- Limiting circumstances (work dress codes, lack of time)


By identifying what doesn't bring joy, you can often discover what you need more of in your life. Hint: Things like "overwhelmed at work" might be flipped into "more freedom for self care" and then listing things you long to do in this category.


3. Review your list:

- Choose your top 5-10 joy-bringing activities

- Star the ones currently present in your weekly life

Ask yourself:

- Do I engage with these activities daily or weekly?

- Does the current frequency feel sufficient?

- How can I incorporate more of these elements?

- What blocks me from giving myself permission to play more?


Remember: While we can't always change our responsibilities, we can change how we approach them. Connecting with play can transform our perspective on even routine tasks.


4. Choose one to invest in

- Give yourself permission to do one of your top activities - take at least an hour away from the problem you are trying to solve

- Let yourself enjoy - give your whole attention to it so your brain can shift into a different state

- Return to the problem/question/issue either several hours later or the next day - give your body time to integrate the self-care so you can look at the issue with fresh eyes and a different perspective


The Wisdom of Play


Why Play Matters

When you connect more deeply with yourself through play:

- Answers come faster because you're free from judgment

- Creativity flows more naturally

- New perspectives emerge

- Solutions appear from unexpected places


Breaking Free from Rigidity

- Doing the same thing daily might feel safe but can limit happiness

- Over-focusing on problems can block solutions

- Play helps us "zoom out" for better perspective

- Our wisest insights often come when we're in a state of joy


Your Path Forward


Your highest self - the wise part that nurtures growth - is most powerful when connected to joy. This energy:

- Flows naturally

- Supports without controlling

- Guides without judgment

- Creates space for solutions


Taking Action

1. Give yourself permission to connect with your creative energy

2. Look for opportunities to learn and play in daily life

3. Trust that solutions often come through freedom rather than force

4. Notice how play shifts your perspective on challenges


Ready to Awaken Your Inner Magic?


Still feeling stuck? I can help you reconnect with your playful spirit and find new ways forward. Schedule a free call and let's talk about your unique situation.





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