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Writer's pictureAlexandra Hawes

The Ripple Effect of Self-Love: Transforming Ourselves and Society

Updated: Oct 2


Leading with Love - Blog by Xandra Hawes, Soul Essence Wellness Center
Releasing the old and calling in joyous truth

This article is based on Xandra's podcast, Soul Essence, and has been adapted from the Self-Love mini-series (the first five episodes of the podcast).



Takeaway: Have you ever wondered how your relationship with yourself might be impacting the world around you? It's a profound question, and the answer might surprise you. The way we treat ourselves doesn't just affect our personal lives—it has the power to transform our entire society.


The Collective Ache of Self-Doubt

Not aligning in loving ourselves feels like a massive, collective ache—and ultimately, a pandemic. We've all heard the saying, "We treat others how we treat ourselves." But have you ever stopped to consider the full implications of this simple truth?


Our society stands on the cusp of a monumental awakening. Incredible shifts are happening that can move our civilization toward one based on equality, kindness, and love. But it all starts with us—with how we treat ourselves.


Imagining a World of Self-Love

Take a moment to envision this:


  • A world where you know you are enough 100 percent of the time

  • A place where you love yourself despite your mistakes

  • A society where you radiate compassion and love for others, regardless of their flaws

  • A community where we believe everyone is doing their best with the knowledge and awareness they have

Sounds utopian, doesn't it? But here's the exciting part—this world is within our reach, and it starts with self-love.

The Challenge of Unlearned Lessons

Most of us can readily offer knowledge, advice, or support to others on situations we've experienced. However, it's nearly impossible to provide support or information on things we've never learned ourselves.

Here's a personal example:

For many years, I harbored anger at my father for not being able to connect with me emotionally. But when I started looking at his family and their inability to provide emotional support for him, I softened. I realized that what I expected him to offer me, he had never been shown himself.

This realization led me to:

  1. Learn how to ask for what I needed rather than expecting others to know

  2. Step into my power and learn how to stop this cycle

  3. Fiercely love and honor myself

  4. Find a community that would provide emotional support while I learned

  5. Make a firm decision that this ancestral trauma would stop with me



The Radiance of Self-Love

When we authentically love and honor ourselves, we radiate this wisdom and identity to others. It's like a lighthouse, guiding not just our own ships, but illuminating the way for others too.

Buddhism speaks of 'basic goodness'—the belief that we are naturally enough at our core. We come into this life aligned in love. But our upbringing, cultural background, and societal judgments can cloud this truth, leading us to believe invalidating stories about ourselves.

Peeling Away the Layers

Each difficult or traumatic event we've experienced, where someone told us we weren't enough (through words or actions), likely resulted in an invalidation story. These stories act like filters, blocking out our innate goodness and making it harder to access our internal brightness.

But here's the liberating truth: Coming back to self-love doesn't mean you have to do things outside of yourself to somehow increase it. It's naturally there. You are automatically enough, and you have everything you need to heal yourself already.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Love

Authentically claiming that we deserve love, and loving ourselves more fully, aligns us with our highest selves. This creates a higher capacity to love others. And if everyone makes this internal switch, we can shift our entire planet.

Now, I often hear people say they're too busy or tired to take on anything more. But here's the beautiful part—you don't have to "do" anything here. You just have to let go of what isn't yours. You don't have to create, buy, or push. All you have to do is:

  1. Recognize the places where you're stuck in someone else's untrue invalidation stories

  2. Release and recycle these stories

  3. Align with your true nature, your soul essence

The more you align with that soul essence, the more you begin to live from a place of self-love. And that's when life begins to transform.

Your Journey to Self-Love Starts Now

Remember, this journey isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about shedding what no longer serves you. It's about recognizing your inherent worth and letting that recognition ripple out into the world.

What's one small step you can take today to align more closely with your true, loving nature? Perhaps it's questioning a long-held belief about yourself, or showing yourself compassion in a moment of difficulty.

As you embark on this journey of self-love, know that you're not just changing your own life—you're contributing to a global shift towards a more loving, compassionate world. And that is truly transformative.

Are you ready to be part of this beautiful change?

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